You have three to eight minutes to snare a date; what’s a girl to do? For starters, you can relax. Women actually have more power in the speed dating arena. Why? Well for one thing, research shows they’re more selective about their dates
than men. (I know, thank you, Professor Obvious.) Still, research has some good tips to offer for the speed dating process.
In a Stanford study, researchers found that people do develop real connections with people when speed dating and those connections are dependent on several factors. It’s important for men to listen, focus on the woman’s concerns in conversation and show enthusiasm. Men should be careful about asking questions that connect to what the woman is saying, avoiding random questions just to fill the space. Guys, that means you need to be engaged and understanding. That’s how you get picked.
Professor Obvious speaks again on speed dating findings for women: be attractive, and less ambitious and no more intelligent than your partner. But if women are the “deciders” in speed dating, there’s no real gain to be had by dumbing down is there? Instead, be your charming, ambitious, intelligent, attractive self (always my recommendation). You might want to try a speed dating group that’s not too large. As with shopping, too many choices is overwhelming and tends to result in fewer dates, or shoes, as the case may be.
Men and women can benefit from research on salespeople. Talk, but not too much. Listen, but not to the point that you seem like you have nothing to say. Show your understanding and engagement by monkey see monkey do. If he/she sits up straight, you do the same. If he/she touches, you return the touch. And I’ll go a step further; waitresses that touch get bigger tips. (I’m talking brush of the hand, not a bear hug.) Keep reading...