Marie ClairePut Yourself First
People who spend time bettering themselves have happier unions than those who always put their partner’s needs first. “When you develop your own interests (cooking, learning a foreign language), you have more to teach the other person,” says Gary Lewandowski Jr., Ph.D., of Monmouth University in New Jersey. “Your bond will improve because you’re adding new layers and depth to it.”
Fast sex may seem unromantic, but short bursts of passion keep you bonded because they release dopamine and oxytocin, two chemicals that trigger loving feelings. “If you’re having regular sex and stoking those neurochemicals, it doesn’t have to be amazing every time,” says sex therapist Ian Kerner.
Do Go to Bed Angry
Research conducted at the University of California, San Diego, found that people often solve ongoing problems during REM. “When people sleep, the brain reshuffles memories, combining old associations and new ideas to come up with solutions,” says study author Sara Mednick, Ph.D.
Respect Your Relationship’s Privacy
When you fight with your guy, do you vent online? Couples who post TMI photos or feud on Facebook make everyone uneasy. “If a couple seems overly happy, they may be trying to compensate for insecurities,” says Bethany Marshall, Ph.D., author of Deal Breakers. “Or it could be passive-aggressive-tweeting a complaint is easier than dealing with it directly.”
Avoid Toxic Friends
If your coupled-up pals are always fighting, it may sound irrelevant to your marriage, but research from Brown University says if your close friends split up, you are very likely to do so as well. Likewise, if your coworker, friend, or sibling parts ways with their partner, you have a 33 percent chance of following suit.
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- 35 photos Launch gallery
1. Johnny Kemp - Just Got Paid1 of 35
2. Gregory Abbott - Shake You Down2 of 35
3. Sunshine Anderson - Heard it All Before3 of 35
4. Lisa Stansfield - Been Around The World4 of 35
5. Rockwell - Somebody's Watching Me5 of 35
6. Sylvia - Pillow Talk6 of 35
7. Rebbie Jackson - Centipede7 of 35
8. Carl Douglas - Kung Fu Fighting8 of 35
9. Brownstone - If You Love Me9 of 35
10. Van McCoy - Hustle10 of 35
11. Shirley Brown - Woman to Woman11 of 35
12. Gwen McCrae - Rockin Chair12 of 35
13. Major Harris - Love Won't Let Me Wait13 of 35
14. Wild Cherry - Play That Funky Music14 of 35
15. Norman Connors - "You Are My Starship"15 of 35
16. Anita Ward - Ring My Bell16 of 35
17. McFadden and Whitehead - Ain't No Stoppin Us Now17 of 35
18. Billy Preston & Syreeta Wright - With You I'm Born Again18 of 35
19. Yarbrough & Peoples - Don't stop the music 198019 of 35
20. Grover Washington Jr. - Just The Two of Us20 of 35
21. Junior - Mama Used To Say21 of 35
22. Shannon - Let The Music Play22 of 35
23. Ollie and Jerry - There's No Stopping Us23 of 35
24. Starpoint - Object of My Desire24 of 35
25. Rumors - Timex Social Club25 of 35
26. Shirley Murdock - As We Lay26 of 35
27. The System - Don't Disturb This Groove27 of 35
28. M-A-R-R-S - Pump Up the Volume28 of 35
29. The Deele - Two Occasions29 of 35
30. Cheryl Pepsi Riley - Thanks for my Child30 of 35
31. Sybil - Don't Make Me Over31 of 35
32. Suzanne Vega - Toms Diner32 of 35
33. Lisa Fischer - How Can I Ease the Pain33 of 35
34. Keith Washington - Kisses Down Low34 of 35
35. Sparkle - Be Careful35 of 35