Marie ClairePut Yourself First
People who spend time bettering themselves have happier unions than those who always put their partner’s needs first. “When you develop your own interests (cooking, learning a foreign language), you have more to teach the other person,” says Gary Lewandowski Jr., Ph.D., of Monmouth University in New Jersey. “Your bond will improve because you’re adding new layers and depth to it.”
Fast sex may seem unromantic, but short bursts of passion keep you bonded because they release dopamine and oxytocin, two chemicals that trigger loving feelings. “If you’re having regular sex and stoking those neurochemicals, it doesn’t have to be amazing every time,” says sex therapist Ian Kerner.
Do Go to Bed Angry
Research conducted at the University of California, San Diego, found that people often solve ongoing problems during REM. “When people sleep, the brain reshuffles memories, combining old associations and new ideas to come up with solutions,” says study author Sara Mednick, Ph.D.
Respect Your Relationship’s Privacy
When you fight with your guy, do you vent online? Couples who post TMI photos or feud on Facebook make everyone uneasy. “If a couple seems overly happy, they may be trying to compensate for insecurities,” says Bethany Marshall, Ph.D., author of Deal Breakers. “Or it could be passive-aggressive-tweeting a complaint is easier than dealing with it directly.”
Avoid Toxic Friends
If your coupled-up pals are always fighting, it may sound irrelevant to your marriage, but research from Brown University says if your close friends split up, you are very likely to do so as well. Likewise, if your coworker, friend, or sibling parts ways with their partner, you have a 33 percent chance of following suit.
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