Is Your Relationship Suffering from “The Curse?”
Sadly, the marriages of Woman Climbing their career ladders are the least likely to last. Of the leading ladies, successful career climbing women were one and a half times more likely to divorce than women who chose not to climb their corparate ladder a difference that doesn’t hold true for leading men.
“Climbing the corporate would shift the status balance in favor of the woman,” says says experts. “That can be a source of relationship strain, especially because it violates the cultural norm that women are subordinate to their husbands.”
We’d like to think that’s changing (it’s 2013, people!), but many successful women still find their relationships crumbling as they climb the proverbial ladder.
If that sounds familiar, these three tips can be your counter-curse:
Complement him. “People always told me to look for someone who matched my ambition, education and professional status,” says Marcia Reynolds, PsyD, author of “Wander Woman: How High Achieving Women Find Contentment and Direction.” “I finally realized that someone who wanted to be as successful as I was would be trouble.”
Instead of hitching your star to another overachiever, Reynolds suggests looking for someone who complements you. If you’ve got the world domination role covered, look for someone who doesn’t consider the less flashy role to be the backseat.
Find balance. “Emotionally, you need to keep balance in the relationship,” says Reynolds. “You need to allow the man to feel important.” That’s not to say that you should be subservient (the happy-to-keep-his-dinner-warm housewife is so last century). It means ask him about his day, listen to him. “Never diminish it like it was less important,” warns Reynolds. After all, would you want him to do that to you?
Show him some R-E-S-P-E-C-T. That’s right, give him a little respect when you get home. “If the woman starts to feel that she’s better than her husband, that’s death for the relationship,” says Reynolds. “You can’t be looking at what your partner doesn’t have. You have to constantly look at what he brings to the relationship and honor that. It might be qualities like patience, kindness, social intelligence or generosity. Everybody is contributing something.”