So, how do you know if he’s “the one” or not? That’s something only you can truly tell, but there are a few sure-fire signs that you’ve met your soulmate. We asked relationship expert Lori Zaslow, star of Bravo’s Love Broker (returning TONIGHT, July 24 at 10/9c) and co-founder of matchmaking service Project Soulmate, for her tips on finding success in love.
1. Consistency from the other person.
I think we’re all looking for that–someone who is giving you consistency and making you a top priority. To me, lasting love is your “soulmate.” It’s healthy. It’s normal. It’s good. You can’t know right away! It takes time to know someone’s moods. I don’t want to put my stamp on something that anyone would think is instant. At Project Soulmate, when someone is on the fence about a person they just met, we always encourage a second date. You just never know! That person could be your soulmate, and you just blew him off because there was no absolute magic right away.
2. Someone who is genuinely concerned.
He is genuinely concerned about you and asks ‘How was your day? How are you? How are you feeling?’ Everything is not one-sided. The person can sense your needs and wants more. You might not need to use words. Of course, in life we do need to use words to articulate, but he might have a stronger vibe if he’s your soulmate. It’s as if he said, “I knew you were feeling that today.”
3. The person is your best friend as much as he is your lover.
The attraction is there, but it’s balanced by a friendship. Without the friendship, the relationship will never sustain. So if it’s always hot and always about sexual relations–when it’s too much of anything–it’s not lasting. There’s a mutual love and respect when someone is your soulmate. That should be first of everything. When you’ve met your soulmate, you’re both giving 150 percent. If you’re each giving together, it’s 300 percent.
4. Your intuition plays a role.
It’s someone that your intuition is constantly reminding you that this is quality, this is different, and this is someone special. It’s someone that you want to make your top priority, and you want to give your all to, and someone you desire in a healthy way. The feeling of your heart falling every time you see him, every single time, waiting for the text. It’s the person that you think “Oh, this could be it!” It could feel like a different connection than you’ve ever felt. Sometimes you meet someone, and you’re like ‘I swear I know you from somewhere,’ or you feel an instant comfort. You could feel more comfortable with a guy you know three months than someone you were with for five years. It happens all the time. So when I use the word soulmate, I’m not saying it loosely, because there is definitely magic in that word.
5. The person listens to what you say and actually acts upon it.
When you love someone and care about someone, you want to be better for yourself, but also for that person. When you’re going to have a future with someone, the person’s health becomes your health. Your partner takes what you say with love. Words and actions should be one in the same, always. You don’t only say ‘I love you’ and expect him to know it. No, you show someone. Anything you do not protect, you lose. Go out of your way when it’s someone’s birthday or when someone got a promotion. Be there when he needs you to hold his hand. Show someone you love them, take care of him, protect him. Your soulmate is going to give his all all of the time. When your boyfriend travels, he’s going to let you know he cares. Through thick and thin, someone is going to love you whether you have makeup on or you don’t. Because money comes and goes, friends come and go, life comes and goes.