In a recent re-twirl my curl and gaze into your eyes heart to heart convo, one of my pet peeves surfaced. When I get into a conversation with a man about his past love, side thing, wife, one night stand turn weekender experiences, I cringe when he gallantly puffs up his chest, make those bug eyes and starts shaking his head calling that woman crazy. Ok, so you regret hoping on that train and now I’m supposed to swoon because I’m not crazy? No. Sir. Wait.
One thing I find about anyone who calls the person they are no longer fascinated with crazy, is that there is often still a connection between them. This may not be a lovey dovey let’s hold hands and go stroll on the waterfront connection but there is one there.
They are often selective with their contact, but it’s still maintained. They may occasionally reply to a generic-ass, “how you doin?” text, they may feel bad and indulge in a quick, “oh, uh lemme call you back?” conversation. They may also do a favor; help answer a question or other friendly gestures.
If this is you -Listen to me! You are in NO position to call anyone crazy if you are unable to severe ties.
Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again. The exchange of a text message is energy; the quick 2 minute phone call is energy. Every interaction with a person who you are supposedly done with after the fact, communicates that to them that there is still hope and that perhaps it will all work out and you just need time to figure it all out.
Figure what out?
My rule of thumb is if that person brings out or has repeatedly brought out the worst in me, they need not be around. In reality if you want to move forward with a clean slate these straggling connections no matter how innocent the interaction may be, must cease to exist.
What self-respecting person will want to invest in a relationship when the foundation cannot be kept free of past relationship debris?
Ladies and gentlemen, talking ish about exes is gonna happen but let’s be real who is really the one who needs a reality check?
Deleting numbers and blocking unhappy energy is empowering- give it a try!