If you regularly subscribe to my shenanigans on my personal site Goddess Intellect you know the one thing I loathe are too many rules. I’m the last person to tell you when to jump the broom, sleep with the enemy or use the bathroom; it’s mainly because I’m too busy trying to figure out my own journey thank you very much. Despite my free as a bird demeanor my adulthood leaves me no choice but to abide by some rules, just a tiny bit. Let’s be real a life without some structure leaves us vulnerable to manipulation and unnecessary conflicts.
Y’all already know how I feel about fights in relationships. Rather than breathe hot sweet tart breath into my man’s face spitting vile language in an ungodly tone or snapping at every attempt of an apology I’d rather be naked. I’d rather have our bodies connected laying out tension, smoothing out kinks, rebuilding a rhythm than argue. You can say I avoid conflict in relationships, I will admit that.
Let’s kiss and make up. But the reality is that if a conflict is indeed a reoccurring one or one that requires more than just a bump and grind solution then sex won’t solve a damn thing. I wouldn’t lie to you now.
I created a 3 fight rule that I abide by, not only in romantic relationships but in all relationships. I created it subconsciously because I have a nasty habit of giving folks more chances than I should. The pushover look doesn’t really compliment my skin tone or theses new shoes I bought so the 3 fight rule is a good look.
What is this rule? Well I only fight about an issue or series of issues 3 times. I can only be in 3 major roller coaster rides with you or repeat myself with a particular conflict 3 times. This excludes infidelity and abuse. I have zero tolerance for betrayal and abuse in any form- sorry.
And I didn’t just come up with this number by fluke, it just happens that I was reflecting and found that when I gave more than 3 tries at a particular issue I either lost my footing or allowed myself to be manipulated.
Do I recommend this rule to anyone? Sure why not. I especially recommend it if you are the type of person who is working on developing a firm foundation within. Some of us have allowed others to step on us for a long time and transitioning to a place where you make decisions that serve your interests instead of others takes time-I understand that.
Fights in relationships- Have you ever had a relationship that consisted of more fighting than loving? How do you handle conflict in your relationship? Do you believe make up sex signifies the end of an argument?
If this post is speaking to you today and you know there is ISH in your life that needs working on, I urge you to send me a quick email to inquire about the summer 2012 Relationship Vision Workshop. We will meet online weekly to support one another and learn how to move past these blocks in our love life. Are you down? Contact@goddessintellect.com