I have a confession to make. Some time ago I had a friend of the opposite sex who was really sweet to me, took me out, made me laugh and was such great company but …but he was romantically interested in me. *reader looks around from side to side*what’s the problem? Drumroll please…I did not feel the same way.
I accepted invitation after invitation for these innocent mock-dates even though I made it bulls eye to the heart clear that I had no interest back. This friend was relentless in his empty pursuit of my heart. He swore that he would win me over with lavish gifts, fancy dinners, and every aspect of his sweet cheap cologne game. I would giggle. I would tease. I would be thinking about someone else in the back of my mind. I thought that as long as I was honest about my feelings things were ok, but ironically I was not being honest.
Every invitation I accepted gave this dude the impression that there was a chance. I later found out that he had a hidden agenda and the sting of rejection was translated into immature malice. He gave his BOYZ the impression that we were an item. We started getting invited out to functions together. His friends started to make hidden sexual jokes. He wanted to introduce me to his family. The innocent fun turned into this control freak’s worst nightmare.
The tyranny ended abruptly as it should’ve from the jump. His reasoning…“you’re scared to fall for me.”
I was seduced by a good time, the company and nothing more. I was dishonest with myself because I had myself believing that aiding this man’s delusions and playing into his fantasy was going to somehow turn out for the better.
Ladies and gentleman, if you are in serious pursuit of a serious and committed relationship these types of friendships must cease to exist. You have to be very honest and straightforward with the person about your feelings and work on creating respectful boundaries (meaning no mock dates) that ensure that when you say he’s just a friend. He’s really just a friend.
Have you ever had a friendship with a member of the opposite sex who wanted more than a friendship and pursued you relentlessly? Did you find it uncomfortable to be around this person?
Have you ever had a friend of the opposite sex fabricate the type of relationship they have with you to their friends or family?