“I Met Him Online, Gave Him My Number, But He Hasn’t Given Me His & He Wants Me To Visit Him”

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“I Met Him Online, Gave Him My Number, But He Hasn’t Given Me His & He Wants Me To Visit Him”

by Terrance Dean

black woman on computer

Dear Gay Best Friend,

I have been on this dating/flirt website for about two years now. I get on there every so often and whenever I’m bored. That’s it. But, one day I got on there and was browsing through the different guys pictures and profiles and I came across this one sexy guy’s pictures and profile. I just had to get to know more about him because he was just that sexy to me.

We started sending each other messages back and forth and he told me some things about him, and I told him some basic things about me. I didn’t take him serious at first. It was just flirting, but then as we started sending each other more messages I was very eager to talk to him off of the site. So, I suggested we should exchange numbers. I sent him my number to let him know I am definitely interested in him and that I want to get to know more about him. His response was like, “I got you mami.” I asked why you can’t send me your number and he never actually gave me a direct response or an answer. So, I left it alone and didn’t even think nothing of it, and we just kept sending messages back and forth.

So, a year passed and we were still sending each other messages. At this point I’m still not really taking with him too serious. This year makes it two years and we still are sending each other messages. Long story short, we started talking about him wanting me to come see him and how he wants to see me in person, and I was like I would love to come see him and all but he hasn’t even given me his number yet, and never gave me a direct answer on why he couldn’t send me his number. So, I said to him that I want to be able to hear his voice instead of us keep sending each other messages because now I’m really interested in him even more. So, I sent him my number for the second time and then I was waiting for him to send me his number, but, yet again his response was once again, “I got you mami.”

At this point my female intuition is in full force and I’m thinking the obvious, either he has a woman and they stay together, or he’s married. At this point that’s a red flag to me and he is not being real with me and not being honest with me, which I didn’t want to think the obvious of those options. Moral of the story is that I really want to go and visit him me and a few friends this summer, but the main issue/problem remains is that I do not have his number. I’ve told him that I’m not coming unless he produces/sends me his number, and he was like he was going to give me his number when I get ready to come.

Should I hold him to his word on that? I just want to be able to give him the benefit of the doubt and not assume the obvious. If I decide not to go, then I feel that I won’t get to at least find out in person if I can get my questions answered honestly. What is your honest opinion/advice on this issue/problem? Should I just leave the situation alone and delete my profile? What are the exact questions I should be asking him? – Undecided and Confused

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