Avoid these major dating landmines when you’re out on the battlefield of love. (Sorry – we couldn’t help it. We love cheesy analogies.)
-Julia Austin, BettyConfidential.com
I personally have found myself doing things that just weren’t “me” while out in the dating world. And I think that’s a pretty easy thing to happen when pride is involved.
“He didn’t want ME?!” Well I’m just going to shoot him a text letting him know that …
I’ve identified a few landmines to avoid in order to hold on to your sanity, and your dignity, while dating:
1. Don’t Text The Angry
And believe me, there are some angry guys out there. Some people do not take rejection well. Some refuse to even admit they’ve been rejected. You may have gone on one date with a guy, told him you just want to be friends, and suddenly he is letting you know that that’s fine with him. That you chew too loud anyways. That you seemed skanky anyway. That he didn’t even like you — oh and another thing — nobody ever will…
It’s very hard not to respond to this type of thing, to not want to defend yourself or “talk reason” into the other person. But DON’T do it. These people don’t want to be reasoned with. They wants to win. They’re not secure enough in themselves to accept that not everyone will like them. They will do anything and everything to avoid having a moment to think about that, so they’re going to text you some venomous words instead.
WARNING: Sometimes you can’t tell which ones will turn out to be crazy. Sorry. Call your service provider ahead of time to learn standard number-blocking procedures.
2. Don’t Like Him? TELL Him.
When he texts you asking why he hasn’t heard from you, don’t say you’ve just been busy. When he asks you how your day is going, and proceeds to ask you a bunch of other cute things, don’t engage him in the type of chit chat that is exactly the type of chit chat guys think means you like them. When he asks if he did something wrong, don’t give him the typical, “no! not at all!”
You know how guys are always saying things like “women are so confusing”? That’s why. For some reason, telling someone you’re not into them is incredibly difficult. I’ve been on the receiving end of the “I’m just not that into you” line, and yes, it killed my ego for the night. But pretty much, just the night. And it was much better than the guys who hurt me little by little, for days or weeks on end, because they wouldn’t tell me they didn’t like me but they weren’t asking me on another date for some reason either.
3. If You Don’t Like Him, Don’t Sleep With Him
It seems like common sense, but for some girls it’s not. Heck, I’m one of them. I don’t need to be head over heels for someone to take everything off from my head to my heels for them.
Just like guys can sleep with a girl who they don’t intend on seeing again, so can a girl do with a guy. Here’s the problem: most guys haven’t realized that. For a lot of guys, if you sleep with them, they feel pretty certain that they are getting another date. I know, I know — we want to prove that we are sexual beings too and we’re capable of having emotionless sex just like a man. But give the guy that just bought you a nice dinner and is clearly crushing on you a break and prove it somewhere else.
Tell us: What’s the biggest mistake you’ve ever made in the dating world?
Julia Austin is a freelance writer living in Los Angeles. She covers travel, lifestyle and love+sex for a number of media outlets including Discovery’s PlanetGreen, LipGlossCulture.com, and QuickieChick.com, a site dedicated to giving busy women quick and easy workouts, recipes and lifestyle tips to better their body and mood. When she isn’t writing she is planning her next trip or sharing dating stories with her friends at happy hour.